One of my favorite teachers, Part 1: Miss Carney

One of my favorite teachers, whom I remember very clearly, was in Colorado. Ms. Carney was my 7th Grade Social Studies (sort of like geography, only more toward the cultural side, i.e. comparing cultures of North America and East Asia).

I actually don't remember much, I only remember A) how well she kept peace and order in her classroom, and B) how she celebrated Halloween.

First off: Keeping order. Ms. Carney was like a ninja in terms of spotting people talking, chewing gum, or anything of the sort. She was so profficient at spotting these sorts of things that she wouldn't even break a sentence to tell someone not to do something. i.e.

 "...The Romans conquered much of the known world, and _____, can you stop talking, but a key to there success was there microgovernments. _____, please spit out your gum. Unlike previous rulers, the Romans..."

Then, of course, her Halloween tales. She had the class gather around, and she told her horror story:

"Once, there was a couple, living happily in the swamplands of Louisiana. All day, the wife would stay home fixing up the house, and the husband spent all day chopping trees for lumber. This way, they kept a steady income.

However, this style of living got uprooted when, while out working, the man screwed up, and ended up having a tree land on his arm. The doctors managed to save him, but not his arm. Being as wealthy as they were from built up funds, they managed to buy a cheap prosthetic arm out of gold*, and he was able to get back to work soon, but he just could not get as many trees downed per day, and so they had to go without many luxuries.

A couple months after the accident, the husband started noticing a pain in his shoulder. The doctors looked at it, and found an infected area from the accident they had failed to clean before. The wife tried to save enough money, but they infection was making the husband slower than ever at chopping trees.

Eventually, the husband died. And, as is customary with funerals in/near swamps, they buried him in an above ground mausoleum. The wife mourned and mourned for several months, but eventually got over it.

A year after her husband died, the wife was having huge financial difficulties, and decided it had been long enough since he died. She then goes to the mausoleum, breaks it open, and cuts off the golden prosthetic. This she then pawns for enough money to get her some tools to get a steady job.

On the first night after work, she goes to bed, but is startled back awake to a sound:

"Whoooooooooooooo"

She realizes that it's probably just the wind in trees, and goes back to sleep.

On the second night after work, she goes to bed, but is startled awake to a sound:

"Whooooooooooooos"

She makes the same conclusion as the night before, and goes back to sleep

Third night, and she hears:

"Whooooooooos  gaaaaaw"

She is a bit more frightened, but makes the same conclusion.

This pattern continues, until, one night, she hears:

"Who's got my arm!"

She then hears her husband's boots at the front steps. Scared, she covers her face in her blankets. Then the boots get closer, and closer, until... BOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

Yeah, it was scarier when she told it in person.

Lastly, an amusing thing about Carney was that, even in Colorado, people didn't have "suthern accents", at least not strong ones. But Carney was complete Texan accent.

All in all, she was a great teacher.

*I use cheap loosely here. By cheap, I mean compared to a working prosthetic. Also, gold is good because it won't rust and infect him, so it's not just a status symbol here.